Right when you were happy…

Do you ever come to that point in life where you think to yourself, ‘Yeah, I am happiest I have been’.

Your Family are great, work is going well, your sport is still enjoyable and then you find someone who can make you smile no matter what and take your mind off things in an instant.

I went through heart break 2-3 years ago, and my goodness it took me so long to recover from it. I thought I found the one, turns out I was wrong. He was just a page in my book that the time had come to flip the page.  I loved him with everything I had, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t him that screwed it up, it was both of us.

But now, I am fully recovered.  I came across a new bloke who is so kind, tender, happy, generous and I thought nothing of it.  Left it for months before I even realised how much of a gentleman he was.  Then we started to hang out, and me being a typical girl months later had feelings. He has to go back home overseas every now and then which I think is great, he is such a giver and hard worker. He goes again soon, but I needed to know what he was feeling so I sent the message.

Told him that maybe we shouldn’t hang out because I was discovering feelings I didn’t want to and knew he didn’t feel the same. For some reason, who the hell knows what reason at all, I thought maybe he would come back with an answer I wanted to hear.  He didn’t.

He came back with ‘I don’t want to waste your time. Someone else would be more deserving and lucky enough if they had it.’  Part of me knew that was coming, 90% of me. But the 10% was holding on to getting a nice message back.

I don’t even know the purpose of this post, I just had to get it out somewhere.

A good thing to take from it is to always say what you’re feeling.  I left it too long, I should have said this a couple of months ago so that I could have had my answer and then stopped what I was starting to feel.

It’s hard telling someone so much, kissing them goodnight, having dinners and watching movies together and then one day it all stops, and they don’t want anything.

Why do all those things with me for the fun of it??

Anyway, that’s life.  It goes on.

Until next time.. T xx

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